VMA voting guide, part 2.

If you want content, holla we want content! WE WANT CONTENT!
Poor paraphrasing of Kanye aside, I present part 2 of our 2-part VMA selection guide. In this post, we'll examine the Technical categories, which have been blocked off by the network (including Best Direction, sorry). Still, there's no reason not to do a Should/Will preview.



BEST CHOREOGRAPHY IN A VIDEO


Should:Shakira, and her George Washington-like hips. Great dancing, Shakira's hot, and that's all you need. And the obvious Colombian influence, Ok, it might not be Colombian. But Sophie Muller directed.


Will:Madonna, Hung Up. U2 always wins Grammys, Madonna wins VMAs.



BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS IN A VIDEO


ShouldBeck, "Hell Yes." This guy deserves something, give it to him for a video with Japanese robots.


WillPearl Jam, "Life Wasted". The Jam are back, and this video will get votes as recognition for the latest album. Or U2, because they're U2.



BEST ART DIRECTION IN A VIDEO


ShouldCommon, Testify. Nice filtering, and the feeling of a gritty police drama-like it should be.


WillRCHP, Dani CA. Still a good choice, but you can't go wrong. Until you hit !.



BEST EDITING IN A VIDEO


ShouldGnarls Barkley, "Crazy". Rorschach tests have never sounded so good.
Will All-American Rejects, Move Along. The background behind Tyson Ritter changes...alright!



BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY IN A VIDEO


ShouldPrince, "Black Sweat". It's mothafucking Prince.
WillAFI, Miss Murder. Not too bad of a choice, with Marc Webb's big-budget popcorn idea. Just don't give it to Ashlee.



You can NOT vote for these categories, or Best Directing. Hope to have entertained you.

Awesomeness Be the Monkeys of the Arctic

check this now...One of my favorite bands, the Arctic Monkeys, have a new video out.

Take a look, then:







But then, you find that YouTube gem...

Your MTV VMA Voting Guide

This year, the MTV VMAs will be completely decided by the fans. You heard it correctly:You can vote for desereving winners. It won't happen, but hey, there's always a chance. A link to vote can be found here.


Here's the Watch Batteries should/will list ofr the 2006 MTV VMAs.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Should:Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Dani California". Great video that encompasses all of rock-and-roll history in a shirt clip. Better than the others.
Will:!, "I write absurd song titles". Yeah, this is explanatory.



MALE VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Should: Kanye West, "Gold Digger". Yeah, you've heard it way too many damn times. But it deserves the award, as none of the videos really stand out, aside from the Touch It megamix.
Will:Kanye, but a Nick Lachey surge is possible.



FEMALE VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Should: Nelly Furtado f/Timbaland, "Promiscuous". Infectious and sexy at the same time.
Will: Shakira f/Wyclef, "Hips Don't Lie". Females tend to vote more for these types of things, and they really like this sonng. I wrote it about it once...



BEST GROUP VIDEO
Should: Gnarls Barkley, "Crazy". RHCP are in this category, but the Gnarls video is more deserving of this award. Go get St. Elsewhere while you're at it.
Will: The All-American Rejects, "Move Along". This title track from the band that brought you PostSecret will get the votes from people who turn on Top 40 every now and then.



BEST RAP VIDEO
Should: T.I., "What You Know". Great video from one of the best rap albums from 2006. For one line, this video deserves it : "I'm fast as lightnin' brah/You better use your Nikes brah".
Will:Chamillionaire, "Ridin'". People who don't listen to hip-hop like this song. Next to the playstation controlla?



BEST R&B VIDEO
Should: Mariah Carey, "Shake it Off". It's on all the damn time, just give her the award.
Will:Mariah. Don't be surprised if VA's Chris Brown takes it after his success at the BET awards.



BEST HIP-HOP VIDEO
Should:Common, "Testify." Great song, great acting. Common Sense from the City of Wind deserves to be recognized. Don't have "Be"? Get it.
Will:Kanye, "Gold Digger'. Self-explanatory.



BEST DANCE VIDEO
Should:"Promiscuous." Timmy's on the beat, enough said. VA stand up.
Will:"Hips Don't Lie". Yeahhh, it's inevitable.



BEST ROCK VIDEO
Should:"Dani CA". Better than any of the other nominees. Really.
Will:!. Yay, "rock", fueled by ramen. Side note: How the hell did 30 seconds to Mars get nominated? They were suits like the ! video. Jared Leto was great....in My So-Called Life.



BEST POP VIDEO
Should:Nelly Furtado. See my point here? I know people would say "Stupid Girls" for its content, but eh.
Will:Hips Don't Lie, and they don't give up.



BEST NEW ARTIST
Should: Chris Brown f/Juelz Santana, "Run It!". VA shows up strong with the newest R&B phenom. Juelz from the DipSet helps.
Will:!, who will have a strong showing in all categories. Sidenote II: Avenged Sevenfold? They're not new, and they suck since they went major. Their lead singer is M.Shadows, and the drummer is Johhny Christ. So, a WWEish name and stealing the whole Krist Novoselic thing? Good friggin' job at unoriginality.



VIEWER'S CHOICE
Should:Run It! and vote for that. It's a good choice. That's all their is to it.
Will:Fall Out Boy, "Dance, Dance." Honestly, I'm surprised they weren't npminated for more. They have ! to thank...and No, I don't like FOB. Stating a horrific opinion.



BEST DIRECTION IN A VIDEO
Should:Testify, directed by Anthony Mandler. A mini-movie in which Mandler actually directs people, places, stories, etc. I would give it to the legendary Kevin Kerslake, but then I look at...and Kevin Kerslake is directing 10 Years? I miss him directing Nirvana.
Will:Dani CA. You can't go wrong in this category. Even the AFI nod is surprisingly solid. Over-the-top, but solid.



With that nomination, we conclude the more mainstream nomination categories. Hope you feel educated. Technical categories later.

--programme.

Why you can never have a sex podcast.

From an IM conversation (why?), and i'm actually "you".

you: so sex, its great.
me: yes, yes it is. TITS!
you:omg, dirty looks. lets get a cookie.
END PODCAST
yeah.

Turn it Down.

The idea of Team Members appears to be lost here at YANTF!. I've written every post save one, to give you an idea of how this works. That's complaining, even carping. Instead of that, I've decided to actually start being less lackadaisical. So, I present TURN IT DOWN. TID is much like the actual WB e-mails-but with YouTube.

TID-July 27,2006-Stefy "Chelsea"
Chelsea reminds me of three things: 1.Girls named Chelsea 2.The Chelsea area of Manhattan and 3.The Football Team in the Premiership. Tomorrow, the teen-targeted movie "John Tucker Must Die" opens. Every teen movie needs a song to go along with it-"don't You Forget About Me" for the Breakfast Club, "In Your Eyes" for "Say Anything...". JTMD gives you...Stefy. Stefy is quite possibly the worst name for a band since...!. Flipping through channels today, I caught wind of the video..and the song caught my ear. Why? Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" and "Chelsea" have remarkably similar basslines. Compare for yourself:



Soft Cell, "Tainted Love"



STEFY, "Chelsea"


Teen People? No wonder this sucks. Plagiarism or pointless placement? Answer in the comments. Posting shall be ona regular basis soon enough.

A letter to MySpace.

MySpace,
I fucking get it. You're the most influential website on the internet, beyond Google. Tom, you have failed to understand Google's approach. Google relies on sponsored links to generate revenue to keep everything free. MySpace was and still is a way for InterMix Media, Inc to promote their spyware. It's not in my best interest to shock three monkeys or rope a bull, so why do you encourage me to do so? A free laptop? Highly preposterous. Spyware, I get it. Back when, you had safe ads on your front page, being more or less of a self-promoter of your own services. Fantastic. Now? Now you've become the world's newest corporate darling/whore, shilling for Victoria's Secret, helio, and whatever else decides to pay you enough.
By the way, nice work with the Victoria's Secret ad. MySpace is being constanty blown up on that episode of Dateline. Now, you're going to put up an ad that appeals to sexual deviants and its target audience? Good Job, MySpace. Good Job! Perhaps I can punch you in the face, Tom. Speaking of which, why don't you reveal yourself Tom? Classified? Oh, ok. That works.
That clarified nothing.
The Programme.

Update Update.

I never write anything on here, and that's a damn shame. But, as promised, I'm putting more material on the site. Check back around midnight or so, when a new, elaborate post should be up. As far as the e-mails go, they're returning this Friday.

Social Networking, the traditional way.

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By which I mean I gambling. In fact, MySpace creator "Tom" endorses it in a message about MySpace losing power at their data center, as seen above. Horrible, Tom, horrible.

Not exactly (your holiday here), but...

The first Alarm Clock Series podcast is available. I've handled all of the tasks, with the help of Mac's iLife 06 package. We hope you will enjoy it, and give us your feedback. Around the blog, KTB should be picking up some slack next week(hopefully) after her return from The Church of Thomas Jefferson. More team members may come on board, I haven't decided yet. You want to be a team member? Send me an e-mail at watchbatteries@gmail.com. YANTF needs to be dedicated to bringing you the best in...whatever the hell we do best. Comment and tell us.

What the fuck is going on here.

I have no idea what's going on here. Seriously. Late nights, broken ideas, and then you realize your talents come back to haunt you. So? These talents need to be eradicated from your repertoire, turned inside out to expose the essence. You realize what you think and what you know are two differnet things. Kike you thought all along.

I will NOT go on Jeopardy!

Starting in middle school, I was told that I should be on Jeopardy!. Each year I advanced in schooling, my peers would recommend that I make my mark on the famed quiz program. It seemed like an enticing idea, so much so that I started watching the show on a regular basis. During the High School and College tournaments I knew a great wealth of the correct responses to the "answers". Sure, this delighted me in some sense, but I was young, and basically friendless.

My Jeopardy! career peaked in the 8th grade. In my Spanish I class, every now-and-then we would play a mock version of the game show. It was simple really, as all the answers and responses were in Spanish.This wasn't difficult, but somehow the ringing a bell part was. Instead of buzzers, we had bells that resembled those that you might find on a hotel desk or anyplace else where they ask you to ring for service. Every other student in the class would ring the bell with a calm hit, causing the contraption to emit a noise. I could not do that, however. My hits were hard smacks to the point where Batman-esque onomatopoeia sounds are the only way to describe my actions. My bell did not sound. That was the rise and fall of my Jeopardy! career, but not trivia.

Junior year of high school, I saw an announcement on the Electronic Bulletin Board(EBB) for the Academic Challenge team. Immediately, I thought about joining, but realized I would be more of a liability than an asset. Being transplanted, I had no car, but I did have a driver's license. Unfortunately, it was out-of-state. Senior year came, and I went to the 2nd meeting of the team and was on. Not starting, just on.
By the 4th match, I was starting and my place was secure. I was an integral part of the team, doing my best work in the co-op round. Our teamwork got us Southeastern District Tournament Champions. We went on to place 4th in the Eastern Regionals, and my career was finished.
A light has been put under me, though with the World Series of Pop Culture. I get that shit. It's not Jeopardy! and pompous Grove City College/Princeton/RPI grads who think they have witty, urbane senses of humor. We've all seen Frasier, you could do us a favor and not copy the goddamn show. Be yourself, or at least, imitate Rosie Perez in White Men Can't Jump. The World Series of Pop Culture is a simple q-and-a format that asks you to answer questions, and it's simple, and a bunch of useless knowledge.
So, I won't go on fucking Jeopardy.

Alarm Clock Starts!

Welcome to Alarm Clock:The Blog, where myself (The Programme) and a host of others (Recurring Characters) will post stuff you don't see in the e-mail..or hear in the blog. So, the only thing I can think of to do now? Post a frigging YouTube video. With fucking Metallica! Of course.