Why you can never have a sex podcast.

From an IM conversation (why?), and i'm actually "you".

you: so sex, its great.
me: yes, yes it is. TITS!
you:omg, dirty looks. lets get a cookie.
END PODCAST
yeah.

Turn it Down.

The idea of Team Members appears to be lost here at YANTF!. I've written every post save one, to give you an idea of how this works. That's complaining, even carping. Instead of that, I've decided to actually start being less lackadaisical. So, I present TURN IT DOWN. TID is much like the actual WB e-mails-but with YouTube.

TID-July 27,2006-Stefy "Chelsea"
Chelsea reminds me of three things: 1.Girls named Chelsea 2.The Chelsea area of Manhattan and 3.The Football Team in the Premiership. Tomorrow, the teen-targeted movie "John Tucker Must Die" opens. Every teen movie needs a song to go along with it-"don't You Forget About Me" for the Breakfast Club, "In Your Eyes" for "Say Anything...". JTMD gives you...Stefy. Stefy is quite possibly the worst name for a band since...!. Flipping through channels today, I caught wind of the video..and the song caught my ear. Why? Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" and "Chelsea" have remarkably similar basslines. Compare for yourself:



Soft Cell, "Tainted Love"



STEFY, "Chelsea"


Teen People? No wonder this sucks. Plagiarism or pointless placement? Answer in the comments. Posting shall be ona regular basis soon enough.

A letter to MySpace.

MySpace,
I fucking get it. You're the most influential website on the internet, beyond Google. Tom, you have failed to understand Google's approach. Google relies on sponsored links to generate revenue to keep everything free. MySpace was and still is a way for InterMix Media, Inc to promote their spyware. It's not in my best interest to shock three monkeys or rope a bull, so why do you encourage me to do so? A free laptop? Highly preposterous. Spyware, I get it. Back when, you had safe ads on your front page, being more or less of a self-promoter of your own services. Fantastic. Now? Now you've become the world's newest corporate darling/whore, shilling for Victoria's Secret, helio, and whatever else decides to pay you enough.
By the way, nice work with the Victoria's Secret ad. MySpace is being constanty blown up on that episode of Dateline. Now, you're going to put up an ad that appeals to sexual deviants and its target audience? Good Job, MySpace. Good Job! Perhaps I can punch you in the face, Tom. Speaking of which, why don't you reveal yourself Tom? Classified? Oh, ok. That works.
That clarified nothing.
The Programme.

Update Update.

I never write anything on here, and that's a damn shame. But, as promised, I'm putting more material on the site. Check back around midnight or so, when a new, elaborate post should be up. As far as the e-mails go, they're returning this Friday.

Social Networking, the traditional way.

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By which I mean I gambling. In fact, MySpace creator "Tom" endorses it in a message about MySpace losing power at their data center, as seen above. Horrible, Tom, horrible.

Not exactly (your holiday here), but...

The first Alarm Clock Series podcast is available. I've handled all of the tasks, with the help of Mac's iLife 06 package. We hope you will enjoy it, and give us your feedback. Around the blog, KTB should be picking up some slack next week(hopefully) after her return from The Church of Thomas Jefferson. More team members may come on board, I haven't decided yet. You want to be a team member? Send me an e-mail at watchbatteries@gmail.com. YANTF needs to be dedicated to bringing you the best in...whatever the hell we do best. Comment and tell us.

What the fuck is going on here.

I have no idea what's going on here. Seriously. Late nights, broken ideas, and then you realize your talents come back to haunt you. So? These talents need to be eradicated from your repertoire, turned inside out to expose the essence. You realize what you think and what you know are two differnet things. Kike you thought all along.

I will NOT go on Jeopardy!

Starting in middle school, I was told that I should be on Jeopardy!. Each year I advanced in schooling, my peers would recommend that I make my mark on the famed quiz program. It seemed like an enticing idea, so much so that I started watching the show on a regular basis. During the High School and College tournaments I knew a great wealth of the correct responses to the "answers". Sure, this delighted me in some sense, but I was young, and basically friendless.

My Jeopardy! career peaked in the 8th grade. In my Spanish I class, every now-and-then we would play a mock version of the game show. It was simple really, as all the answers and responses were in Spanish.This wasn't difficult, but somehow the ringing a bell part was. Instead of buzzers, we had bells that resembled those that you might find on a hotel desk or anyplace else where they ask you to ring for service. Every other student in the class would ring the bell with a calm hit, causing the contraption to emit a noise. I could not do that, however. My hits were hard smacks to the point where Batman-esque onomatopoeia sounds are the only way to describe my actions. My bell did not sound. That was the rise and fall of my Jeopardy! career, but not trivia.

Junior year of high school, I saw an announcement on the Electronic Bulletin Board(EBB) for the Academic Challenge team. Immediately, I thought about joining, but realized I would be more of a liability than an asset. Being transplanted, I had no car, but I did have a driver's license. Unfortunately, it was out-of-state. Senior year came, and I went to the 2nd meeting of the team and was on. Not starting, just on.
By the 4th match, I was starting and my place was secure. I was an integral part of the team, doing my best work in the co-op round. Our teamwork got us Southeastern District Tournament Champions. We went on to place 4th in the Eastern Regionals, and my career was finished.
A light has been put under me, though with the World Series of Pop Culture. I get that shit. It's not Jeopardy! and pompous Grove City College/Princeton/RPI grads who think they have witty, urbane senses of humor. We've all seen Frasier, you could do us a favor and not copy the goddamn show. Be yourself, or at least, imitate Rosie Perez in White Men Can't Jump. The World Series of Pop Culture is a simple q-and-a format that asks you to answer questions, and it's simple, and a bunch of useless knowledge.
So, I won't go on fucking Jeopardy.

Alarm Clock Starts!

Welcome to Alarm Clock:The Blog, where myself (The Programme) and a host of others (Recurring Characters) will post stuff you don't see in the e-mail..or hear in the blog. So, the only thing I can think of to do now? Post a frigging YouTube video. With fucking Metallica! Of course.